• Aimee Spencer Tiemann

45 Lessons I've Learned

Today I turn 45 and I've never felt more alive. The irony is, I’m going through one of the toughest chapters of my life.



A good friend told me the other day that I'm not like anyone else.


She said, "You learn the lesson. You have a different view to life. You’ve walked a completely different path than most."


Kind words to say the least. But she wasn't finished yet.


"You still have some lessons you need to be reminded of, because you haven’t completely embraced them yet," she said.


Back down to Earth I went. Thanks for the feedback. But what do I do with it? I asked my friend.


"You need to share," she said with a point-blank look.


So, here I go.



Necessary disclaimers: I’m not a parent. I’m not a psychologist. I’m not a doctor. I’m not a lawyer. I’m not a man. I’m a middle-aged, married, white lady sitting in the suburbs of Detroit, hoping this blog post will help you learn from my path.


  1. IF YOU SETTLE FOR ONE THING IN LIFE, YOU WILL START SETTLING FOR EVERYTHING IN LIFE.

  2. NEVER LET MONEY LEAD THE TRAIN.

  3. LET IT HAPPEN CAPTAIN!

  4. "PERFECTIONISM" IS ANOTHER WORD FOR "LAZY."

  5. IF YOU LAY DOWN WITH THE DOGS, YOU’RE GOING TO GET FLEAS.

  6. EVERY FIGHT ISN’T WORTHY OF YOUR TIME, YOU NEED THE ENERGY FOR THE REAL BATTLES YOU WANT TO FIGHT.

  7. KNOW YOUR WORTH. IF YOU DON’T, HOW WILL ANYONE ELSE?

  8. YOUR DNA DOESN’T DICTATE YOUR JOURNEY.

  9. BLOOD ISN’T ALWAYS THICKER THAN WATER. JUST BECAUSE YOU SHARE THE SAME NAME, FAMILY, OR DNA, DON’T ASSUME THEY’RE WIRED LIKE YOU.

  10. YOUR BEST INTEREST IS YOUR JOB, NO ONE ELSE'S.

  11. ALWAYS NEGOTIATE. TAKE NOTHING AT FACE VALUE.

  12. BULLIES ARE RIDDLED WITH FEAR AND INSECURITY. NEVER BACK DOWN.

  13. LIKE KENNY ROGERS SAID, “YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW WHEN TO HOLD 'EM, KNOW WHEN TO FOLD 'EM, KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY, AND KNOW WHEN TO RUN.”

  14. STAND IN YOUR TRUTH – DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY.

  15. NEVER GIVE A CHILD SOMETHING THEY DIDN’T DESERVE OR EARN.

  16. DON’T TRY FOOD FOR THE SAKE OF TRYING IT, THAT SHIT WILL MAKE YOU PUKE.

  17. ALL LIFE'S CHALLENGES CAN BE SOLVED OVER A COCKTAIL WITH COMPLETE STRANGERS, JUST MAKE SURE YOU'RE IN THE RIGHT ESTABLISHMENT.

  18. IF YOU’RE GOING TO BURN A BRIDGE, MAKE SURE YOU’RE BLAZING TRAILS.

  19. "GUILTY FEET HAVE GOT NO RHYTHM." WHAM NAILED IT. IF SOMEONE'S LYING, WATCH THEIR BODY. THEY'LL FIDGET AROUND. THEIR STORY WILL CHANGE. DETAILS WILL BE TOO CLEAR BECAUSE IT'S ALL BEEN REHEARSED!

  20. JUST BECAUSE YOU’VE HAD A FRIEND FOR 20 YEARS, IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD HAVE THE SAME FRIEND FOR 20 MORE.

  21. IF YOU LISTEN CLOSELY, PEOPLE WILL TELL YOU WHO THEY ARE. YOU DON’T ALWAYS NEED TO SEE THEIR ACTIONS.

  22. MAKE SURE YOU’RE SUPPORTING A PERSON, NOT ENABLING THEM.

  23. A DOG’S LOVE AND LOYALTY WILL BE THE MOST UNCONDITIONAL LOVE YOU WILL EVER FIND.

  24. EVERY ONE OF LIFE’S MOMENTS CAN BE PERFECTLY COMPLIMENTED BY AN 80’S TRACK.

  25. EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION, BUT NOT EVERYONE’S OPINION MATTERS.

  26. IF THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO DANCE – SHAKE THAT SHIT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE.

  27. DON’T LET ANYONE DARKEN YOUR LIGHT. THAT’S THEIR BAGGAGE, NOT YOURS.

  28. THE TRUTH MAY HURT, BUT YOU’LL BE BETTER OFF FOR HEARING IT.

  29. STOP SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH “YES” PEOPLE. THE WORD “NO” AND LEGITIMATE CRITICISM CAN BE SO MUCH MORE MOTIVATING.

  30. WHEN ASSHOLES DIE, IT DOESN’T AUTOMATICALLY GIVE THEM WINGS TO BECOME ANGELS. STOP ROMANTICIZING THEM AS SOMETHING THEY NEVER WERE.

  31. DON’T USE CLICHÉ’S TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD. NO ONE EVER GETS TO HEAL WITH HEARING CONTRIVED, OVERUSED STATEMENTS

  32. JUST BECAUSE IT’S BEEN DONE BEFORE, DOESN’T MEAN IT CAN'T BE DONE AGAIN. CIRCUMSTANCES CHANGE AND YOU ARE UNIQUE.

  33. PEOPLE HATE TWO THINGS: CHANGE AND THE STATUS QUO.

  34. CONFUSION ISN’T A STRATEGY – IT'S A WAY TO COMBAT A DREAM. BE CLEAR AND CONCISE OR DON’T PLAY THE GAME.

  35. CHESS OVER CHECKERS. LIFE IS ABOUT STRATEGY. DON'T JUST GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS.

  36. STOP APOLOGIZING. IF YOU’RE WRONG, ADMIT IT. IF YOU’RE NOT, PROVE IT. STOP SAYING YOU'RE SORRY TO GET OUT OF AN UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT.

  37. ASK QUESTIONS, LOTS OF THEM. IF YOU AREN’T GETTING THE ANSWERS YOU NEED, ASK DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

  38. DON’T LET REVIEWS DICTATE IF YOU ARE GOING TO BUY SOMETHING. REMEMBER, ONE BAD EXPERIENCE CAN OVERTURN 100 GREAT MOMENTS. DON’T LET SOMEONE’S BAD DAY DICTATE YOUR NEXT GREAT EXPERIENCE.

  39. SEE LIFE THROUGH ALL LENSES, EVEN IF YOU DON’T AGREE. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU CAN LEARN FROM SEEING ANOTHER SIDE.

  40. EVERYTHING YOU’VE LEARNED ABOUT LIFE, YOU LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN – KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF. EARN THE GOLD STAR. PLAY WELL WITH OTHERS. AND DON'T PEE YOUR PANTS.

  41. LET PEOPLE THINK THEY’RE RUINING YOU IF THEY’RE TRYING. REMEMBER, A VILLAIN NEVER SEES THE AFTERMATH OF THEIR ACTIONS. THEY COULD JUST BE SETTING YOU UP FOR THE GREATEST COMEBACK OF ALL TIME.

  42. COMFORT IS NO WAY TO LIVE YOUR LIFE. IT’S JUST BREATHING ROOM BEFORE THE NEXT CHALLENGE BEGINS.

  43. WHEN FRIENDS ARE WINNING, CELEBRATE WITH THEM. WHEN FRIENDS ARE MOURNING, CRY WITH THEM. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T LOSE THE CONNECTIONS YOU HAVE. THE POWER OF HUMAN CONNECTION IS BECOMING EXTINCT. IT’S UP TO YOU TO KEEP IT ALIVE.

  44. WHEN SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO SOMEONE, DON’T KEEP BRINGING IT UP EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM. THEY’RE TRYING TO MOVE ON TOO.

  45. THERE ARE THREE SIDES TO EVERY STORY: YOURS, THEIRS, AND THE TRUTH.

©2019 by Aimee Spencer Tiemann